Conflict is hard for many people to deal with. I’ve realized that the closer you get to people, the more inevitable it is. Also, due to our personalities, childhood, parents, and experiences, it becomes very hard to deal with in constructive ways.
Jill works in special education, and she does this all day. That is, she helps people resolve their conflicts. It’s really valued at the school she works at. She’s more of an expert at it than most people.
I’m pretty bad at doing this, but this week was quite a lesson in it. We spent around four hours at a restaurant talking things out with our small group leaders. I was exhausted by the end (not from yelling or anything, I just get that way after talking with anyone for that long). Things are better for the time spent hashing things out. Even better, we’re still friends with the couple, which is very valuable to us.
Also, Jill and I went to a marriage counseling session tonight with a nice older guy who’s a pastor as well. Jill and I are doing fine generally, but as she has pointed out it’s good to smooth out bumps as they come along. Things like… resolving conflict 
Being willing to do this took a lot of guts for me as talking about shortcomings or faults is tough. Fortunately the pastor was very encouraging and said we seem like a very healthy couple etc etc.
All this talk of feelings and faults makes me tired, and sometimes discouraged. Fortunately God has kept his promise that nothing he puts in front of me is too difficult to handle. Whatever doesn’t kill me will hopefully cause me to be stronger and improve in some small area. God is in the business of making me more like him, however hard a process that is (and believe me it is hard sometimes).
One of my quotes in my database that I love is from a song called “Love”:
The Harvester is near
His blade is on your skin
To plant a new beginning
Well then let the cut begin
Let the cut begin
